I've previewed every division in baseball: The Wests. The Centrals. The Easts. But now it's time to get into the nitty-gritty. The season begins Sunday night, so you want predictions. And if you want 'em, I've got 'em. One hundred and twenty-five of them, to be exact.
1. The Washington Nationals will be the only team to win 100 games, becoming the first team to reach the century plateau since the 2011 Philadelphia Phillies.
2. No team will lose more than 100.
3. The Boston Red Sox will win the American League East.
4. The man who will start the first game of the AL Division Series for the Red Sox does not currently pitch for the team.
5. David Ortiz, "Editor-at-Large" of the Players' Tribune, won't be writing any more pieces for the Players' Tribune.
6. Matt Harvey, "New York City Bureau Chief" of the Players' Tribune, will blow us away with a gripping expose tearing the lid off a billing scandal in the city council's accounting office. It will be the Players' Tribune's second Pulitzer.
7. Pablo Sandoval will be in roughly 68 percent of all Dunkin' Donuts ads in the greater New England area.
8. Jose Reyes will be Jose Reyes again: I'm thinking a 15-homer, 40-steal, 120-run season.
9. Dalton Pompey is your surprise winner of the AL Rookie of the Year Award.
10. The fact that Russell Martin is Canadian will be mentioned on every telecast of every Blue Jays game.
11. Thanks to Reyes and a lineup that is able to bash enough to offset a thin rotation, the Blue Jays will win one of the two AL Wild Cards and play their first playoff game since 1993. (Assuming, of course, you consider the Wild Card Game a playoff game.)
12. There will be a total of five no-hitters thrown this season.
13. One of them will be a perfect game.
14. It won't be Bartolo Colon, sadly.
15. No one will notice the pitch clock after Tax Day.
16. Chris Davis will hit 40 homers.
17. The homer will generally return this year: There will be four players who hit more than 40: Davis, Giancarlo Stanton, Jose Bautista and Chris Carter.
18. Ubaldo Jimenez will end up becoming the best (and most well-paid) reliever on the Orioles.
19. If you end up going to Tropicana Field, you will have a wonderful time, and no one will believe you.
20. Everyone will remember that Evan Longoria isn't just one of the best players in baseball, but also that he's not even 30 yet.
21. Every Yankee player will complain at least once about the fact that New York City FC has messed up the Yankee Stadium field.
22. Alex Rodriguez will hit 20 homers and the fans will embrace him, because fans always want to embrace and forgive. It will be the best-case scenario, all anyone could have possibly hoped for.
23. Then, sometime around August, it'll explode, for some reason no one saw coming.
24. By mid-September, you will find yourself regularly asking, "Wait … this guy is starting for the Yankees? This guy? For the Yankees?"
25. The Yankees will finish in last in the AL East for the first time since 1990.
26. No one will hire Melky Cabrera to design his or her website.
27. Your 2015 AL MVP Award winner: Jose Abreu.
28. Your 2015 AL Cy Young Award winner: Chris Sale.
29. That's to say: It's time to be bullish on the White Sox, who will become the first team to win the AL Central other than the Tigers since 2010.
30. This will delight Hawk Harrelson. His delight is unlikely to delight you.
31. Every time Miguel Cabrera so much as twitches, everyone in Detroit is going to freak out.
32. If Cabrera spends any time on the DL, we will all be reminded that his eight-year, $248 million extension -- which includes options for the 2024-25 seasons -- doesn't even kick until next year.
33. At some point, you will feel extremely sad for Joe Nathan.
34. Every time you see Yoenis Cespedes really get a hold of one, just hammer a pitch, you'll think he's the best baseball player you've ever seen … and then wonder why he isn't better.
35. The Tigers' stranglehold on the AL Central is finally loosened … just in time for the expensive, older team to turn into the Phillies.
36. Royals games at Kauffman Stadium will be the absolutely wonderful experiences they've been for the previous 30 years before last season, but will lack a certain energy this year.
37. Those guys in the cat singlets will be at the park a little bit less often.
38. The only thing you'll ask about the Twins, all season, will be, "Is Miguel Sano up yet?"
39. Or maybe, "Is Byron Buxton up yet?"
40. Twins manager Paul Molitor will find this all a bit less enjoyable than he would have suspected.
41. Come October, the stadium you'll most desperately wish you were at will be in Seattle.
42. Seriously, when the Mariners make the playoffs -- and they will -- Safeco is going to have that "PNC Park when the Pirates finally broke through" feel: a riotous, crazy explosion of giddy noise.
43. Felix Hernandez will make you smile.
44. When the Mariners show up in the playoffs, Jay Z will remember that he's Robinson Cano's agent.
45. The postseason camera will spend most of the game on Beyonce.
46. At least until she leaves in the fifth inning.
47. Mike Trout will solve his "high fastball problem."
48. Briefly, just a few times, Albert Pujols will remind you of how great he is. Then you'll see him jog to first so slowly and gingerly, and you'll remember the passage of time.
49. The Angels will be the biggest disappointment in baseball this year. Here's why.
50. You'll still stay up an extra half-hour every night just to make sure you watch Mike Trout bat one … more … time.
51. Barry Zito, after a few weeks in the Majors, will get one last call up to the A's, to say goodbye.
52. You will find it surprising that Ben Zobrist ever played anywhere other than Oakland.
53. Billy Butler immediately becomes the A's bleacher lunatics' favorite player.
54. You will be able to watch Astros games on television! It'll be great!
55. Actually, the Astros will become the fun baseball equivalent of the NBA League Pass team: The young, goofy, exciting team that isn't that great yet, but you can't help but turn to one of their games on MLB.tv when you're flipping around.
56. You will walk around with a little hop in your step because you are taller than one of the best players in baseball, Jose Altuve. Then you'll go buy an Altuve jersey, because Altuve is awesome.
57. Come mid-July, the lead story on every "MLB Tonight" newscast will be, "Which team is leading in the Adrian Beltre trade sweepstakes?"
58. Beltre will end up being traded to the White Sox, where he'll be perfect.
59. Rougned Odor will be at least one of the three best Rougned Odors currently walking around the plane of existence.
60. Eventually, Wrigley Field will get a wall.
61. And bleachers.
62. And all sorts of other ballpark amenities you'd foolishly taken for granted.
63. You will forget Kris Bryant ever played in the Minor Leagues this year at all.
64. Of all the Cubs' young sluggers and future stars, the one who ends up being the most impressive (outside of Bryant) will be Addison Russell.
65. Though at some point Javier Baez will hit a ball so far that you will spill something all over yourself.
66. Clark the Cub will still not put on any pants.
67. You will simply refuse to believe that Jason Marquis continues to be a Major League starter, but sure enough, he will remain so.
68. The Reds will do their best to hang on until the All-Star game in Cincinnati, and when it's over, they will trade anything not nailed down.
69. Pete Rose will show up at the All-Star game, and he'll be all anyone will talk about.
70. This will ruin the All-Star Game for me, and a lot of other people.
71. Jonathan Lucroy will secure his status as the best catcher in the National League Central.
72. The Lucroy revelation will not only be because Yadier Molina has gotten so slim in the offseason that most people won't recognize him, but that'll be part of it.
73. The primary challenger to the Cardinals in the NL Central won't be the Cubs, but the Pirates.
74. Andrew McCutchen will have his best season yet and win his second NL MVP Award.
75. Jung Ho Kang will take over the starting shortstop role by May and win the NL Rookie of the Year Award.
76. The Pirates still fall just short of the Cardinals.
77. Jason Heyward hits 22 homers, and the Cardinals sign him to a 10-year contract -- with a player opt-out after seven -- by Aug. 1.
78. The best pitcher on the Cardinals staff won't be Adam Wainwright, Lance Lynn or John Lackey: It'll be Michael Wacha. But Carlos Martinez will be closer than you think.
79. Kolten Wong will play in the first of many All-Star Games.
80. Bryce Harper is finally going to hit more than 30 home runs.
81. At some point, for the first time in his three-year career, Harper will face a pitcher younger than him.
82. He'll strike out, and then homer off the kid in his next at-bat.
83. The best pitcher on the Nationals' staff will turn out to be Stephen Strasburg, of all people.
84. He will get to start in the NLDS.
85. The Mets will be in the Wild Card chase down to the very final weekend, thanks to NL Cy Young Award winner Matt Harvey, a surprisingly strong season from Michael Cuddyer and a comeback for David Wright, who will reach 22 homers for the first time since 2010.
86. Mets fans will still be deeply unhappy.
87. The Marlins will get off to a hot start and get everybody excited, but then the team's lack of depth will be exposed and they'll fall behind the Mets for third place in the NL East.
88. Every time you see that statue in the Marlins outfield, you will groan and feel old.
89. Giancarlo Stanton's new mask, which looks pretty cool, will become the new fashion accessory in Major League Baseball. Heyward will get one next, and before you know it, even people who weren't once beaned in the face will start wanting them.
90. The Braves will be a little bit more sad than you want them to be.
91. You won't forget to call Melvin Upton "Melvin," but every time you say it, you will say so dismissively, in a way that's actually sort of making fun of him.
92. The last two Braves seasons at Turner Field will be rough, and you'll almost forget that the Braves are moving already (to the suburbs, no less) and start resenting the Ted.
93. And still, the Phillies will be worse.
94. Cole Hamels will end up being traded for a package that isn't even close to what he's worth.
95. Ryan Howard will hit 22 of the emptiest homers you will ever see in your life.
96. Jonathan Papelbon will be traded to a team and almost immediately give an interview about how miserable he was in Philadelphia. It'll make you want to punch him, even if he doesn't deserve it.
97. This is the year when everyone finally stops complaining about Yasiel Puig and recognizes him as the next great charismatic superstar the rest of us already knew he was.
98. Joc Pederson makes Andre Ethier feel a little more irrelevant and like a third wheel every game.
99. You'll still type an extra "K" the first time you type his name, every time.
100. Jimmy Rollins will look really weird in a Dodgers uniform.
101. The Padres will be a lot, lot more fun than they have been in a decade, but they still won't be good enough to make the playoffs.
102. James Shields will miss the outfield he had in Kansas City. Often. Maybe every inning.
103. The Giants will fall short of the playoffs, thanks to a thin offense, an aging rotation and injuries to some of their key contributors.
104. Everyone will ignore all of that and just say, "It was an odd-numbered year!"
105. Justin Upton will have a surprisingly disappointing season, but when 2016 begins, he will still be named "Justin."
106. Tony La Russa, a man who infamously handles losing the way the rest of us handle kidney stones, will have to stop going to Chase Field every game by mid-May.
107. We'll discover that Yasmany Tomas isn't just not a third baseman … he's probably not much of a fielder anywhere.
108. Paul Goldschmidt will remain the most unheralded brilliant hitter in baseball.
109. Troy Tulowitzki will get hurt.
110. Carlos Gonzalez will get hurt.
111. LaTroy Hawkins will make the first All-Star Game of his 20-year career and will receive a standing ovation when he comes into pitch in Cincinnati.
112. He'll then give up a homer, and smile.
113. The first manager to be dismissed: San Diego's Bud Black. This is not to knock Black's managerial skills, just to point out that the new people in charge in San Diego have shown, er, a sense of urgency. (See above prediction on the team not making the playoffs.)
114. No general managers will be dismissed. Ruben Amaro lives for another rodeo.
115. The AL Wild Card Game will feature Toronto beating Oakland.
116. The NL Wild Card Game will feature Pittsburgh beating the Chicago Cubs.
117. The first ALDS winner: Boston, in five games over Toronto.
118. The second ALDS winner: Seattle, in four games over the Chicago White Sox.
119. The first NLDS winner: Washington, in five games over Pittsburgh.
120. The second NLDS winner: The Los Angeles Dodgers, in four games over St. Louis.
121. The ALCS winner: Boston, in four games over Seattle.
122. The NLCS winner: Los Angeles, in seven games over Washington.
123. Your 2015 World Series Winner: The Los Angeles Dodgers, in six games, over the Boston Red Sox.
124. Vin Scully, after coming into the FOX booth to call the last half-inning of the World Series, decides to retire. It's perfect, and we never see another broadcaster like him.
125. After the last out of the World Series, we spend the whole winter waiting for baseball to come back to us again … waiting for, well, today.
It has finally returned. Play ball.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, follow me @williamfleitch or just shout out your window real loud, I'll hear you. Point is, let's talk.