Now that Gronk's party cruise has returned from a weekend of debauchery in the Bahamas, it's time for those of us with boring, practical lives to live vicariously through drunken revellers via the magic of social media.
Apparently the cruise was as wild as anyone might have expected, at least according to the quote one anonymous attendee gave to the Boston Globe:
"Am I having a good time? Oh my God, yes! Although I kind of don't remember last night. I might have blacked out," said a Framingham woman who identified herself as "There's absolutely no way I'm telling you my name."
Framingham woman was among the 700 passengers who paid to be a part of Gronk's seafaring adventures. The other 1,600 passengers on the Norweigan cruise liner that is normally known as Pearl just happened to have some extra rowdy shipmates, though according to The Globe's account of the trip, there weren't any complaints from those who didn't plan on sharing a Bahamas vacation with the NFL's most celebrated bro.
More accounts from the dozens of intrepid journalists embedded on the party ship are sure to come, though there are plenty of highlights from the trip online, including one man's successful proposal to his girlfriend in the middle of a Q&A session with Gronk.
A Gronk fan from Kentucky used this Q&A with Gronk to propose to his girlfriend. She said yes. pic.twitter.com/V2lDCktwgP- James Reed (@jreedwrites) February 21, 2016
And, of course, there were Great Moments in Hammered White People Dancing and Rob Gronkowski bribing people to get it on.
My Gronk Party Ship source reports Gronk offers couple "10 grand cash right now if you bang in front of everybody." pic.twitter.com/6shf8YJHyy- Robert Klemko (@RobertKlemko) February 21, 2016
But don't let all that skew your perception that Gronk's ocean voyage was non-stop mayhem. The Globe's writer reported that most of the time the voyage resembled any other commercial trip to the Bahamas and that the ship was never trashed.
The same probably can't be said for the happy sailors.