Every year, I buy a new Cardinals jersey. It's a big decision, one I spend far too much time (not to mention money) on, and one I've been making since 2010, when I had to replace my go-to, no-question, wear-to-every-game-I-attend jersey.

That jersey -- my precious, my precious -- was my old reliable Rick Ankiel No. 66, the number he wore when he was the best young lefthander I'd ever seen in my life, back when he was doing things like this:

Ankiel is my favorite baseball player of all-time, because he represented what baseball means to me: It is psychological and infuriating and beautiful and infinite and baffling and transcendent. When he left the Cardinals in 2009, I couldn't wear the jersey anymore … but I knew it could never truly be replaced. So I've grabbed a new one each season:

• 2010: Matt Holliday, No. 7
• 2011: Adam Wainwright, No. 50
• 2012: David Freese, No. 23
• 2013: Chris Carpenter, No. 29
• 2014: Oscar Taveras, No. 18
• 2015: Matt Carpenter, No. 13
• 2016: Carlos Martinez, No. 18

(I have no idea how I never bought a Yadier Molina. I guess I just assume he'll be around forever.)

It's dorky when you wear a football or a basketball jersey to a game, but when you wear a baseball jersey, it's … OK, only somewhat less dorky. But it makes more sense: It's a shirt, after all, with buttons. More to the point: Which jersey you choose says something about you, about your fandom, about your devotion. Anyone can pick up a David Ortiz jersey. It's the Dave Roberts jersey that shows the depth of your knowledge. In St. Louis, you always saw a ton of Albert Pujols jerseys when he played there. But it was "MCGEE 51" that let everybody know you'd been a Cardinals fan for a long, long time. You want to pick the popular guy. But you also want to show the depth of your dedication. It's a tricky line for a dork to walk.

Thus, with a new season beginning, I thought I'd take a look at each team's jersey situation. We'll be ranking the best jerseys in three different categories:

• Historical: Retired or former players. Franchise legends.
• Current: Guys currently on the roster.
• Hipster/Contrarian: What's the most opposite, so-uncool-it's-cool jersey you could wear? The person perhaps most disliked by your fan base, or the worst free-agent signing, or just someone silly? Think of this as the equivalent of wearing a "Jeb! 2016" hat.

(You can find pretty much any jersey you want, by the way, at the MLB Shop.)

We'll go team by team, but know that, with all pieces like this, it's a work in progress. You know your team better than I know your team. If you have suggestions, corrections or alterations, please email me leitch@sportsonearth.com. But these are my best educated guesses.

AMERICAN LEAGUE

Baltimore Orioles

Historical
RIPKEN 8
ROBINSON 5
PALMER 22

Current
MACHADO 13
JONES 10
DAVIS 19

Hipster
PONSON 43

Boston Red Sox

Historical
WILLIAMS 9
YASTRZEMSKI 8
MARTINEZ 45

Current
ORTIZ 34
BETTS 50
PEDROIA 15

Hipster
SMOLTZ 29

Chicago White Sox

Historical
THOMAS 35
KONERKO 14
BAINES 3

Current
SALE 49
ABREU 79
FRAZIER 21

Hipster
JORDAN 45

jerseys2

Cleveland Indians

Historical
THOME 25
FELLER 19
DOBY 14

Current
LINDOR 12
KLUBER 28
CARRASCO 59

Hipster
KOBAYASHI 30

Detroit Tigers

Historical
GIBSON 23
GREENBERG 5
KALINE 6

Current
CABRERA 24
VERLANDER 35
UPTON 8

Hipster
ZUMAYA 54

Houston Astros

Historical
BIGGIO 7
BAGWELL 5
RYAN 34

Current
CORREA 1
ALTUVE 27
KEUCHEL 60

Hipster
SCHILLING 19

Kansas City Royals

Historical
BRETT 5
QUISENBERRY 29
WHITE 20

Current
PEREZ 13
DAVIS 17
GORDON 4

Hipster
HAMELIN 48

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

Historical
ANDERSON 16
ECKSTEIN 22
ERSTAD 17

Current
TROUT 27
PUJOLS 5
SIMMONS 2

Hipster
WELLS 10

jerseys3

Minnesota Twins

Historical
PUCKETT 34
HRBEK 14
CAREW 29

Current
SANO 22
BUXTON 25
MAUER 7

Hipster
ORTIZ 27

New York Yankees

Historical
RUTH 3
JETER 2
BERRA 8

Current
RODRIGUEZ 13
SABATHIA 52
GARDNER 11

Hipster
PAVANO 45

Tampa Bay Rays

Historical
PRICE 14
CRAWFORD 13
ZOBRIST 18

Current
ARCHER 22
LONGORIA 3
KIERMAIER 39

Hipster
CANSECO 33

Oakland A's

Historical
HENDERSON 24
JACKSON 9
MCGWIRE 25

Current
GRAY 54
BURNS 1
HILL 18

Hipster
HATTEBERG 10

Seattle Mariners

Historical
GRIFFEY 24
ICHIRO 51
MARTINEZ 11

Current
HERNANDEZ 34
CANO 22
CRUZ 23

Hipster
FIGGINS 9

Texas Rangers

Historical
RYAN 34
RODRIGUEZ 7
YOUNG 10

Current
DARVISH 11
BELTRE 29
ODOR 12

Hipster
PARK 61

jerseys4

Toronto Blue Jays

Historical
CARTER 29
STIEB 37
ALOMAR 12

Current
BAUTISTA 19
DONALDSON 20
TULOWITZKI 2

Hipster
AINGE 2

NATIONAL LEAGUE

Arizona Diamondbacks

Historical
GONZALEZ 20
JOHNSON 51
SCHILLING 38

Current
GOLDSCHMIDT 44
GREINKE 21
PERALTA 6

Hipster
ORTIZ 48

Atlanta Braves

Historical
AARON 44
MADDUX 31
JONES 10

Current
FREEMAN 5
TEHERAN 49
PIERZYNSKI 15

Hipster
UPTON 2

Chicago Cubs

Historical
BANKS 14
SANTO 10
SANDBERG 23

Current
BRYANT 17
RIZZO 44
SCHWARBER 12

Hipster
CHOI 19

Cincinnati Reds

Historical
ROSE 14
BENCH 5
MORGAN 8

Current
VOTTO 19
HAMILTON 6
STEPHENSON 55

Hipster
BURBA 34

jerseys5

Colorado Rockies

Historical
HELTON 17
WALKER 33
BICHETTE 10

Current
ARENADO 28
GONZALEZ 5
GRAY 55

Hipster
NIED 17

Los Angeles Dodgers

Historical
ROBINSON 42
KOUFAX 32
DRYSDALE 53

Current
KERSHAW 22
PUIG 66
SEAGER 5

Hipster
DREIFORT 37

Miami Marlins

Historical
CONINE 19
NEN 31
BECKETT 21

Current
STANTON 27
FERNANDEZ 16
ICHIRO 51

Hipster
PIAZZA 31

Milwaukee Brewers

Historical
YOUNT 19
FINGERS 34
AARON 44

Current
LUCROY 20
BRAUN 8
GENNETT 2

Hipster
SUPPAN 37

New York Mets

Historical
SEAVER 41
GOODEN 16
STRAWBERRY 18

Current
CESPEDES 52
SYNDERGAARD 34
HARVEY 33

Hipster
MEJIA 58

Philadelphia Phillies

Historical
SCHMIDT 20
DAULTON 10
DYKSTRA 4

Current
NOLA 27
FRANCO 7
HOWARD 6

Hipster
SANDBERG 37

Pittsburgh Pirates

Historical
CLEMENTE 21
STARGELL 8
TEKULVE 27

Current
MCCUTCHEN 22
KANG 27
COLE 45

Hipster
BREAM 5

jerseys6

St. Louis Cardinals

Historical
MUSIAL 6
MCGEE 51
SMITH 1

Current
MOLINA 4
MARTINEZ 18
CARPENTER 13

Hipster
TEMPLETON 1

San Diego Padres

Historical
GWYNN 19
WINFIELD 31
HOFFMAN 51

Current
CASHNER 34
KEMP 27
SHIELDS 33

Hipster
SMITH 1

San Francisco Giants

Historical
MAYS 24
BONDS 25
LINCECUM 55

Current
POSEY 28
BUMGARNER 40
PENCE 8

Hipster
ROWAND 33

Washington Nationals

Historical (all Expos in Nationals jerseys; personalize those puppies)
RAINES 30
DAWSON 10
MARTINEZ 45

Current
HARPER 34
SCHERZER 31
ZIMMERMAN 11

Hipster (again, Expos in Nationals gear)
COLON 40

* * *
Email me at leitch@sportsonearth.com; follow me @williamfleitch; or just shout out your window real loud, I'll hear you. Point is, let's talk.

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