Back in January 2015, out of total frustration with the profound idiocy of the Deflategate controversy, my editors here at Sports on Earth and I began discussing where it ranked among the dumbest sports stories of all time. Then I realized: When you take a step back, all sports stories are pretty dumb. We think these things are so important at the time, and people on television yell at each other at increasingly loud volumes about them, and then a week later we move on to something else.
Thus, a regular feature: a look at the 10 dumbest sports stories of each month. It is shockingly easy to come up with them -- stories that rattle around the sports biosphere, get us all riled up and then go away.
10. The Eagles and their beat reporters are fighting in the press box. This is the first press box fight that ended up with its own oral history. Let's hope it's not the last!
9. Lane Kiffin fires up the troops. I would run through a wall for this guy! OK, so I'd probably walk up to the wall, knock, see if anybody can just find a door for me to casually walk through. And if there wasn't, I'd just turn around and go the other direction.
8. Patriots fan pulls fire alarm at Steelers' hotel the night before the AFC Championship Game. The reason given: "I got drunk and did something stupid." The real surprise is that hundreds of thousands of Patriots fans didn't do this.
7. The Chargers had some logo trouble. The new Los Angeles Chargers logo lasted about a day. At least it inspired this Tweet.
(Also, boo on the NFL for deleting their initial Tweet.)
6. Ted Cruz "owns" Deadspin. Deadspin tried to find a picture of Ted Cruz playing basketball. Whatever poor soul in charge of Cruz's Twitter account made a slightly hackneyed joke in response. Deadspin attempted to fire back, pretty lamely. There are no winners here.
5. Donald Trump attempts to change national voting policy because he does not know his golfer friend Bernhard Langer is German. Also, there were some pretty disturbing implicit views on Latinos there. We're still not yet two weeks in, people.
4. Russell Westbrook forgets that you have to dribble in basketball. You totally do, Russell. Even in the NBA.
3. Curt Schilling did something again. This time, he insulted Sidney Ponson on Twitter, even though it was not, in fact, Sidney Ponson. This has been your monthly update on Dumb Curt Schilling Things.
2. Justin Bieber, Chris Pronger and one of the best hockey photos of all time. It's just perfection.
1. Someone please help this poor polar bear on skates. There are times I believe this is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. I know it initially was posted on December 29, 2016. But I didn't see it until January 2017, so I'm counting it, because it is so, so wonderful. When the world gets you down, just bookmark it.