When 30 teams of 25 active players from 40-man rosters play 162 games of nine innings and 27 outs each over 183 days, well, there's a lot to be said. You can drown yourself in the details associated with every soul and situation, the dynamics of a particular division and the forces -- foreseeable and otherwise -- that will dictate the direction the 2017 season takes.
But we understand if you're too busy for all of that.
And so here, in this space, let's go with levity in the form of brevity, distilling the elements down to their essence and telling you basically everything you need to know about a given club's outlook in a few quick keyboard strokes.
Here are 30 clubs in exactly 30 words apiece -- on the 30th of the month, no less!
Red Sox: No David Ortiz, but this outfield (Andrew Benintendi, Jackie Bradley Jr., Mookie Betts) is insane. David Price's iffy elbow limits super rotation. Biggest question: Will bullpen bite Dave Dombrowski again?
Blue Jays: Still good. Pour one out for Edwin Encarnacion, and then remember that the rotation was excellent last year and could be even better as Aaron Sanchez and Marcus Stroman mature.
Orioles: Sluggers and saves. Thin rotation took an early hit with Chris Tillman injury, though Kevin Gausman looks ready to break out. No one will pick them, but it won't matter.
Yankees: Tons of young bats but low expectations because of developmental curve and so-so rotation. Would actually be kind of funny if they made the playoffs and the Red Sox didn't.
Rays: Hit roughly 786 solo home runs last year. Need dudes on base. The rotation, as usual, can be a real strength, but bullpen's a concern and the offense is unproven.
Nationals: Gave up valuable starting depth for Adam Eaton because they know the Bryce Harper window could be closing. They need Harper and the health of the starting staff to cooperate.
Mets: Weird things will happen, because it's the Mets. But the rotation is crazy deep and (mostly) healthy right now, and Yoenis Cespedes is back to continue to salvage the offense.
Marlins: Jose Fernandez's death may have halted organizational momentum. But good offense (will Giancarlo Stanton finally stay healthy and hit 50 bombs?) and improved bullpen could help overcome a questionable rotation.
Phillies: Entire first half revolves around establishing trade value of Jeremy Hellickson, Clay Buchholz, Howie Kendrick, Joaquin Benoit and Pat Neshek. The rest is simply young players trying to get better.
Braves: Now featuring improved watchability, especially when Bartolo Colon pitches! The offense made strides last season, and old dudes bring air of respectability to the rotation. Dansby Swanson is a gem.
Indians: If they don't win the AL Central, something went horribly wrong… and when does that ever happen in Cleveland sports? Payroll size now exceeds market size. World Series or bust.
Tigers: Organizational depth, luxury tax are issues. But if the lineup is healthy (J.D. Martinez is currently hurt), Jordan Zimmermann bounces back and bullpen's better than it looks, they can contend.
Royals: Could be the last ride with championship core. Not much depth, probably not much offense. But the Royals have a way of being better than the sum of their parts.
White Sox: All we want to know is when will Jose Quintana get traded and when will we see Yoan Moncada, Lucas Giolito, Reynaldo Lopez and Carson Fulmer? The rest is whatever.
Twins: That starting staff. Woof. The Twins have some interesting young talent (Byron Buxton, Miguel Sano, Max Kepler, Jose Berrios), but this will be a year of Brian Dozier trade speculation.
Cubs: Could end the drought dating all the way back to 2016. Crazy position player depth and still enough down below to swing a trade for pitching help, if need be.
Cardinals: Their defense had more leaks than Wiki last year, so an awful lot is riding on Kolten Wong's bat sticking at second base and the new-look outfield with Dexter Fowler.
Pirates: A 20-win drop in '16, but lots of youthful upside and potential big bouncebacks from Gerrit Cole and Andrew McCutchen. If it doesn't work, might be time to unclutch Cutch.
Brewers: They need Ryan Braun to play well enough to be traded for guys like Lewis Brinson (Jonathan Lucroy trade) and Josh Hader (Carlos Gomez trade), who could debut this year.
Reds: "Opening Day starter Scott Feldman" does not have a (championship) ring to it. But Joey Votto is always interesting, Billy Hamilton is fast and Adam Duvall hits the ball hard.
Rangers: Everybody's expecting regression because they were really good in one-run games last year. Maybe they're just really good? Health issues in rotation, but deep lineup and bullpen are big strengths.
Mariners: Made a 10-win improvement last year, then added athleticism and pitching depth. If Felix Hernandez returns to form, they've got a very good chance of ending the longest October drought.
Astros: Sports Illustrated said they'll win it all in 2017 in 2014 but not in 2017. Figure that out. Deep lineup. Rotation might need an in-season adjustment. Need a better April.
Angels: Is it a roster worthy of Mike Trout? No, not really. But if the starting pitching stays healthy (big if), this will be a competitive club. Really strong defensive outlook.
A's: The only star they kept (Sonny Gray) can't seem to stay healthy. Figures. But interesting talent (especially Kendall Graveman and Ryon Healy) could help them be more competitive than advertised.
Dodgers: Endured a litany of injuries, including to Clayton Kershaw, and won 91 games and reached NLCS anyway. Tons of depth, strong farm, options abound. Projections love them for a reason.
Giants: Bullpen was the bugaboo last year, so they spent a ton of money on Mark Melancon. Setup situation still questionable, as is lineup durability. But where there's Bumgarner, there's hope.
Rockies: Coors-inflated ERAs won't show it, but they've developed a solid young starting staff to support Nolan Arenado-led offense. Spent too much on Ian Desmond, who's now hurt, but interesting team.
D-backs: The new regime (Mike Hazen and Torey Lovullo) provides a better situation for young players to improve. If A.J. Pollock is healthy and rotation reaches its potential, possible sleeper club.
Padres: Wil Myers is solid. Hunter Renfroe, Manuel Margot and Austin Hedges are all interesting. But most of this roster earns a Seinfeldian, "Who are these people?" One hundred losses? Probably.
Anthony Castrovince is a Sports on Earth contributor, MLB.com columnist and MLB Network contributor. Follow him on Twitter @Castrovince.