Back in January 2015, out of total frustration with the profound idiocy of the Deflategate controversy, my editors here at Sports on Earth and I began discussing where it ranked among the dumbest sports stories of all time. Then I realized: When you take a step back, all sports stories are pretty dumb. We think these things are so important at the time, and people on television yell at each other at increasingly loud volumes about them, and then a week later we move on to something else.
Thus, a regular feature: a look at the 10 dumbest sports stories of each month. It is shockingly easy to come up with them -- stories that rattle around the sports biosphere, get us all riled up and then go away.
10. Conservative sports fans believe the ESPN layoffs were about subscriptions canceled because of "liberal politics." That's not what they were about. At all. Also: We have certainly redefined the word "liberal" in the last 30 years of public discourse if what freaking ESPN does is classified as "liberal."
9. Roger Goodell is not into weed. He thinks it's "addictive." Always listen to Dr. Goodell. Or better yet, listen to a previous commissioner.
8. Red Sox throw at Manny Machado's head to defend Dustin Pedroia, who desperately didn't want them to. Remember: We don't even let children take hard objects and throw them at people. Why have we professionalized it?
7. The Easter Bunny attacks Teddy Roosevelt. Do not anger the Easter Bunny.
I think I saw that happen in a dream one time.
6. James Dolan gets in a fight with a fan. At this point, it's clear that the Knicks owner has decided to terrorize Knicks fans individually rather than simply collectively.
5. Tim Tebow is still a thing. Whether you are supportive of his baseball exploits or not, let's check out his minor league line: .237/.310/.382.
Remember, that's at the Class-A Sally League, at the age of 29. That would not be among the top 120 slugging percentages in MLB right now. And he's five levels below that. And 29. Tell us again how he's gonna shock us all?
4. Chris Bosio and John Lackey have some thoughts about Eric Thames. Cubs officials were "furious" that Bosio and Lackey accused Thames of being on PEDs. Be furious about that rotation, too, while you're at it.
3. Minor Leaguer struggles with throwing a beach ball in the wind. It was a nice thought, though.
That sort of works as a visual representation of life sometimes, doesn't it?
2. Tennis match interrupted by loud sex noises. Sometimes you just never know what you're gonna see at the old ballpark. Earmuffs!
Much, much credit to that announcer: That's quite a curveball to handle in the booth. The biggest surprise since this:
1. Mets fan is mad. He is very very mad.
Wait until he finds out what happens to the Mets the rest of the month.