By Matt Meyers
Fans of EPL drama got an early Christmas present when, late last week, it was revealed that Liverpool had purchased former Machester City striker -- and well-known mischief maker -- Mario Balotelli from AC Milan, just in time for Liverpool's Monday night match against (you guessed it) City.
If you're unfamiliar with Balotelli's antics, a good place to start is this: He has a tattoo on his chest with the following Genghis Khan quote: "I am the punishment of God. If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you."
It's still unclear if Balotelli will see the pitch against his former club, but just having him back in the Premier League is enough to warm the heart of any EPL fan who enjoys WWE-style antics from its star players.
As we wait for the prodigal son to return, just like last week, we'll go over the three strongest narratives from the weekend's matches.
1. Everton can't hold a lead
For the second straight week Everton held a lead past the 80th minute -- and for the second straight week the Toffees had to settle for a 2-2 draw. The result was even more painful this time because it came against Arsenal -- another Champions League contender -- and it was a two-goal lead.
On the flip side, Arsenal fans were in typical self-immolation mode, losing their collective minds on Twitter after a questionable offside call led to Everton's second goal just before halftime.
At least #ArsenalTwitter's half-time meltdown game is sharp as ever.- Uncle Gnèpon (@gnepon) August 23, 2014
But then Gunners manager Arsene Wenger subbed in Olivier Giroud for Alexis Sanchez at halftime, and Arsenal was suddenly clicking. Giroud scored the equalizer in the 90th minute and all was well in North London.
This Arsenal crisis was the shortest yet.- Why Always EG? (@ElstonGunn_) August 23, 2014
It was the second straight week in which Arsenal scored in second half extra time, and for the first time in a long time the Gunners have a bit of a cardiac kids vibe going on.
2. Stick a fork in Manchester United
Man United has been compared to the New York Yankees for many years, and its descent into mediocrity is jibing nicely with what's going on in the Bronx.
Both clubs have long had an aura of invincibility that has faded, and one seems to be intimidated by United any more. And, if we're being honest, who could possibly be intimidated by a team with that uniform?
Things looked to be going in United's favor early on in Sunday's match against Sunderland. Juan Mata put the Red Devils ahead in the 17th minute, and just moments later it was revealed that the club had signed Angel Di Maria, a speedy Argentian winger, from Real Madrid. A lack of speed on the wings has been blamed for some of United's shortcoming, and di Maria should fix that.
The goodwill didn't last long, though. Sunderland's Jack Rodwell, who was once considered a candidate to be England's next big thing before getting buried on Man City's bench, equaled the score in the 30th minute. Rodwell, who switched clubs this summer, is just 23 years old and could prove to be a bargain for Sunderland, which pains me to admit as a Newcastle fan.
United manager Louis van Gaal tried to spark the offense by bringing on Adnan Januzaj and Danny Welbeck in the 63rd minute, but to no avail. (Sunderland actually outshot United.) If Di Maria doesn't make a difference quickly it will be panic time at Old Trafford. After all, it's been a whole season since United has won the league.
1 - One point from two games is Manchester United's worst start to a league season since 1992-93 (0 points). Sluggish.- OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) August 24, 2014
3. Tottenham has some flair
The most impressive performance of the weekend was put together by Spurs, who took apart former manager Harry Redknapp's Queens Park Rangers side by a score of 4-0.
Tottenham scored a number of pretty goals on Sunday, with none prettier than their third score, which featured a build-up of 48(!) passes.
Eric Dier, who became the first defender to score in his first two Premier League matches and has been wreaking havoc with his runs down the right flank, is a potential breakout star.
Dier is very unique among British players because he cut his teeth in Portugal, where he moved with his family when he was a kid. Instead of coming up through a club academy in England, he developed his skills with Sporting Lisbon before Spurs bought him for 4 million pounds in August.
Belgian winger Nacer Chadli, who had a hard time breaking into Tottenham's lineup last season, surpassed his 2014 scoring total (1) by tallying twice on Sunday.
If you're looking for a candidate to be this year's version of Liverpool -- creative play, potentially questionable defense -- Tottenham is a decent bet.
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Matt Meyers is a content director at MLB.com and Sports on Earth and has -- for reasons that he might explain later -- been a diehard Newcastle United fan for more than 20 years. You can follow him on Twitter @mtmeyers.